Cheating

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Who are you allowing to enter into your inner court? Who are you allowing to enter into your outer court? Only the priest of your home should enter into your temple and be free to enjoy you. Only your priest (husband) should be allowed on the grounds of your temple.

What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. — 1 Corinthians 6:19

I have been to many marriage retreats. I have yet to hear one speaker discuss adultery. As a matter of fact it seems as if Christian marriage retreats work extra hard on not discussing this topic. After some thought, I surmised that maybe this was due to the fact that if by some miracle a hurting couple attended the retreat, it would not be advantageous to slice open festering wounds. My own personal opinion is that a festering wound will never be made whole until the abscess drains, antibiotic creams are applied, and with time the miracle of healing occur.

One pastor did admit that marriage retreats run the risk of persons coming to blows in their rooms and escalating altercations because quite frankly there are a lot of marriages on the proverbial edge. And locking two people on the edge together in a room over a weekend could be chancy. Consequently, this chapter is on the edge, and many would ask why risk breaking the beautiful flow of romance, love, rhythm, Eden, and sensuality to discuss such a painful subject.

The risk is only worth it if (1) there is revelation to be shared, (2) there is healing to be done and there are stagger-ing statistics suggesting that this phenomena within marriage needs to be addressed.

In 1953, renowned sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that 50% of husbands and 26 % of wives surveyed had cheated by age 40. Today women under the age of 40 are just as likely to commit adultery as men their age. Studies have suggested that the more sexual partners a person has before marriage the more likely he or she is to cheat.

FORSAKING ALL OTHERS
The Bible says a man is to love his wife like God loved the church. God gave his only son for the church and His son gave his life. He nourishes and cherishes. But He said He is a jealous God. A man’s wife is precious to him. We see the bridegroom and his bride as the ultimate couple which parallels a man and his wife.

For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
                                      — Exodus 34:14

If you don’t want to be accountable, don’t get married. If you want to continue to club and do your own thing and don’t like someone to know where you are midnight on Friday night, then don’t get married. Marriage is a yoke that is self-applied. A yoke was what bound oxen together as they would tread the fields. Their necks were tied together.

Lets say you and your friend “Roger” stop by Starbucks every morning on the way to work for twenty minutes. You chit-chat and have a latte, unwind and then go to work. No bigge except you are married. That’s your perspective.

Your husband’s perspective is his wife is in Starbucks with some “guy” every morning. This competitor is viewing the curvature of his wife’s legs as she sits with him every morning. This other man will observe his wife’s soft hands grasping the mug and supple lips as she tastes the flavormatic dark nectar of her triple machiato. He will watch the auburn highlights cast on her soft curls and then he will inhale her soulful essence as her body oils mix with that lovely perfume she wears.

This “dog” will laugh and smile as he appreciates her light brown eyes and pink lips and smooth complexion. He probably is touching her body as he scoots his chair closer to hers. He probably is close enough to smell her breath. If this other man is in her presence for ten minutes, it is ten minutes too long because she is someone else’s wife.
You think I am being obsessive. You think I am exaggerating. OK. Keep the male personal trainer. Keep the Starbucks daily dates.

One day you are going to look up and say, “I don’t know what got into my husband. He’s just tripping. He’s just wrong because I am grown and I can have lunch with whoever I want to.”

This is difficult to explain. But I will try. If you are married–you will have to act like you married! You will not be able to date other men and share your deepest secrets with them. Period. Throw out the tight fitting clothes. Stop wearing clothes two sizes too small. Discontinue the spandex. You are married. Dress like it.

Husbands can be possessive. They don’t like their wives in the company of other men for extended periods of time. You are playing games with your anointing. I don’t know of any husband who wants other men breathing on, sniffing on, and in his wife’s face.

The enemy is only coming to destroy and take your marriage out. This means he is not going to waste his time trying to just get you and your husband to disagree on what brand of bread to buy just to aggravate you. Every time you go to dinner your husband wants steak and you want Italian so you think the devil is messing. The devil don’t mess. His main objective as the enemy is to destroy your marriage.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
                                        —John 10:10

                                              Only the Priest Could Enter In
                                                                   Excerpts from
                                                   When One Flesh Worships
                                                                      Chapter 10

copyright © 2007 J. T. Wright