click here for More Articles
 for Marriage Help Including Infidelity
                            
Articles brought to you by When One Flesh Worships

What about Tiger?

Everyone wants to know what "When One Flesh Worships" has to say about the alleged "Tiger Affairs." Well, when the people brought the woman to Jesus for adultery, He said "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. (John 8:7)"

They were ready to stone her just as they were Tiger. He's taking massive stones being hurled at him right now. Not to mention, the alleged golf club incident, is no different than being pounded with a good size rock.

I am digressing. But since I went there... People keep wondering why Tiger is MIA. Evidentially, these people simply do not understand the horrendous pain and hurt caused by adultery with just one "other person" in the equation - the love triangle - let alone a love hexagon. It is quite conceivable that every time Tiger gets within "eye" shot of his wife,  she has to fight off the temptation to find the nearest lampshade or broom and start it up all over again. Being MIA (Missing In Action) is probably a good plan for him right now.

And when we are in the abyss, this place of being MIA, that place where everyone won't look you in the eye and they turn the other way when you enter a room, that is when we can start understanding the love of God.

I am not taking up for what Tiger did. He will have to answer for what he has done in the day of judgment. He has put his wife at risk for STDs and if the  reported liaisons are true,  some major damage has been levied on his family. However, there is no rock so low that we can crawl under and not find the Love of God. God still loves Tiger and can show himself to Tiger and his family in a very real way, even now. All he has to say is "God I'm sorry and I believe you died on the cross. If you are real God, please do some small thing today to just show me that you are watching and you hear me please."

I, personally, have been in some bad situations and some how God has shown himself real. This does not mean you will not have consequences and repercussions for your behavior. But this is the first step to moving in the right direction. Good Christian Godly marriage counseling for each person (even if its without the spouse) and even if she currently wants a divorce is next.

Why? Because healing, forgiveness  and wholeness from that past is necessary in moving forward by ourselves or apart. No amount of money in the world can fix or repair a room with four people in it -  two of which are innocent children with the two  people they love the most -  and the hatred, strife, discontent and anger hangs in the air like a sticky fog. This is a hint to all couples, currently married and divorced. This does irreparable damage to your children. They eventually become angry too.

Next, if one desires to even sin in this way, it is sin. So the magnitude of the sin for some of us who judge Tiger, maybe non-existent or  minimized due to lack of funding, personal assistants, and the calculated logistics and transportation methods required to commit the sin. But rest assured, we are just as guilty, if we desire and have that "lust" for extramarital activities. Yes, the folks on the internet looking at the playgirl and playboy centerfolds just wishing they could have "some of that" are just as guilty as El Tigre himself.

I always wondered in John 8:8 what Jesus was writing when the people brought the adulterous woman to Jesus. No one ever preaches that one. I think he started writing down cell phone numbers, text messages, e-mail addresses, names, and "meet-up" locations. That's why the accusers walked away one by one.

What I Love about God is He's a heart God. He looks at our hearts not our purses. If you want to kill somebody and can't  fund buying a "B-B" gun, you're just as guilty as the gang leader with the arsenal in the trunk of his car. The moral of the story is this. Go and sin no more. Many will say Tiger is not going to give up all the "fun." But that belief speaks to the purpose of this entire website. The purpose of this website is that God created sex and He created the institution of marriage. For those who want Him (God) to anoint that area of their marriage, He can bring that fire and that glow that can only be achieved in marriage that is monogamous and plays by God's rules. God can put that fun, that youthfulness, and that freedom back in.

Getting back in the house may be a 4 year journey but How to Win Your Wife all Over again on the bottom of the "Marriage Counseling" Section  give some hints.

John 8:1-11 (King James Version)

1. Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.

2. And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

3. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

4. They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

5. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

6. This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

7. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

8. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

9. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

10. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

11. She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
 

Cheating

Who are you allowing to enter into your inner court? Who are you allowing to enter into your outer court? Only the priest of your home should enter into your temple and be free to enjoy you. Only your priest (husband) should be allowed on the grounds of your temple.

What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. — 1 Corinthians 6:19

I have been to many marriage retreats. I have yet to hear one speaker discuss adultery. As a matter of fact it seems as if Christian marriage retreats work extra hard on not discussing this topic. After some thought, I surmised that maybe this was due to the fact that if by some miracle a hurting couple attended the retreat, it would not be advantageous to slice open festering wounds. My own personal opinion is that a festering wound will never be made whole until the abscess drains, antibiotic creams are applied, and with time the miracle of healing occur.

One pastor did admit that marriage retreats run the risk of persons coming to blows in their rooms and escalating altercations because quite frankly there are a lot of marriages on the proverbial edge. And locking two people on the edge together in a room over a weekend could be chancy. Consequently, this chapter is on the edge, and many would ask why risk breaking the beautiful flow of romance, love, rhythm, Eden, and sensuality to discuss such a painful subject.

The risk is only worth it if (1) there is revelation to be shared, (2) there is healing to be done and there are stagger-ing statistics suggesting that this phenomena within marriage needs to be addressed.

In 1953, renowned sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that 50% of husbands and 26 % of wives surveyed had cheated by age 40. Today women under the age of 40 are just as likely to commit adultery as men their age. Studies have suggested that the more sexual partners a person has before marriage the more likely he or she is to cheat.

FORSAKING ALL OTHERS
The Bible says a man is to love his wife like God loved the church. God gave his only son for the church and His son gave his life. He nourishes and cherishes. But He said He is a jealous God. A man’s wife is precious to him. We see the bridegroom and his bride as the ultimate couple which parallels a man and his wife.

For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
                                      — Exodus 34:14

If you don’t want to be accountable, don’t get married. If you want to continue to club and do your own thing and don’t like someone to know where you are midnight on Friday night, then don’t get married. Marriage is a yoke that is self-applied. A yoke was what bound oxen together as they would tread the fields. Their necks were tied together.

Lets say you and your friend “Roger” stop by Starbucks every morning on the way to work for twenty minutes. You chit-chat and have a latte, unwind and then go to work. No bigge except you are married. That’s your perspective.

Your husband’s perspective is his wife is in Starbucks with some “guy” every morning. This competitor is viewing the curvature of his wife’s legs as she sits with him every morning. This other man will observe his wife’s soft hands grasping the mug and supple lips as she tastes the flavormatic dark nectar of her triple machiato. He will watch the auburn highlights cast on her soft curls and then he will inhale her soulful essence as her body oils mix with that lovely perfume she wears.

This “dog” will laugh and smile as he appreciates her light brown eyes and pink lips and smooth complexion. He probably is touching her body as he scoots his chair closer to hers. He probably is close enough to smell her breath. If this other man is in her presence for ten minutes, it is ten minutes too long because she is someone else’s wife.
You think I am being obsessive. You think I am exaggerating. OK. Keep the male personal trainer. Keep the Starbucks daily dates.

One day you are going to look up and say, “I don’t know what got into my husband. He’s just tripping. He’s just wrong because I am grown and I can have lunch with whoever I want to.”

This is difficult to explain. But I will try. If you are married–you will have to act like you married! You will not be able to date other men and share your deepest secrets with them. Period. Throw out the tight fitting clothes. Stop wearing clothes two sizes too small. Discontinue the spandex. You are married. Dress like it.

Husbands can be possessive. They don’t like their wives in the company of other men for extended periods of time. You are playing games with your anointing. I don’t know of any husband who wants other men breathing on, sniffing on, and in his wife’s face.

The enemy is only coming to destroy and take your marriage out. This means he is not going to waste his time trying to just get you and your husband to disagree on what brand of bread to buy just to aggravate you. Every time you go to dinner your husband wants steak and you want Italian so you think the devil is messing. The devil don’t mess. His main objective as the enemy is to destroy your marriage.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
                                        —John 10:10

                                              Only the Priest Could Enter In
                                                                   Excerpts from
                                                   When One Flesh Worships
                                                                      Chapter 10

copyright © 2007-2010 J. T. Wright