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Defraud Ye Not
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time,
that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together
again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1 Corinthians 7:5
King James Version (KJV)
Unfortunately, my
memories of this powerful verse for married couples does not give me
the warm fuzzies. Mainly because the Pentecostal church in which I
was raised was, in my opinion, a tad sexist in its ministry. Many
Sundays we listened to sermons regarding the dress of women, the
speech of women, the responsibilities of women and when I went off
to college, I decided church was not for me because God was about
rules for women and men preaching to women.
I later found out that it is all about relationship
with the Lord and the secret to marriage is understanding that "its
not about you." You are a team. Moreover, our relationship with God
is not about do's and don'ts but loving the Lord, talking to him and
worshipping him. So what does this scripture mean if God is
not a God of do's and don'ts. We'll he does have some do's and
don'ts but the secret is you have to feel good about doing the
"do's." Take note of the following definitions:
Defraud: Definition - Cheat,
Swindle, Bilk. To get something by deceitful trickery
Tempt: Definition - To entice
to do wrong by promise of pleasure.
When I think of temptation, I think of the apple crumb cobblers that
show on the TV screen after 9 p.m. from T.G.I. Fridays or
Applebee's. They look good and you know they probably taste pretty
good. So your mouth starts watering. They are what? ...a
temptation. Oh and don't forget that they drizzle caramel elegantly
over the apple stuff and then drizzle it all around the edge of the
bowl.
Incontinency: Failure to restrain sexual appetite.
I really think this verse concerning "that
Satan tempt you not" is a warning to each spouse
that says, "Hey wake up and realize that you are in relationship
with someone else and they have desires and needs. Every time you
make love, it may not be about you and if you decide you want to be
celibate for a while you really should not do that for long
periods of time because your spouse may be tempted by the apple dish
at work." That's just a fact. The other fact is you should have a
heart toward your spouse such that you want to love on them and make
love to them.
The "defraud" part means you are
in a covenant contract and quite frankly you agreed to love,
cherish, and make-love to this person til "death do us part". So
don't break the contract now and cheat them out of pleasure.
For those in the military, who are separated or for
other reasons and cannot be together ask God for grace and
mercy and consciously avoid temptation. If you and your spouse are
geographically separated be careful of those "gates." Gates are
entrances by which the enemy may try to enter to gain a foothold. Be
careful of what you watch, see, smell, taste and especially feel.
You may have to avoid certain movies for example. You have my
prayers because when my husband and I are separated we miss each
other really bad.
The takeaway is "Do not take away or cheat your spouse out of
physical pleasure, sex and affection." They may be tempted to
do something wrong for pleasure.
About the Author: If you’re ready for a riveting, real, and
no-holds-barred exposition of what it means to be a loving wife,
then J.T. Wright’s When One Flesh Worships (paperback,
978-1-60266-865-2) is ready
to deliver. The book reignites the matrimonial fire for wives
through an expressive treatise of
God’s intended plan for marital
intimacy between a husband and wife.
http://www.WhenOneFleshWorships.com
Copyright © 2007 J. T. Wright
