The Reality of Adultery

Article brought to you by When One Flesh Worships

Cheating is based on lies and deceit and more lies. If you can forgive your spouse for the sexual sin, the addition of the mountain of lies makes it pretty much humanly impossible.
But with God all things are possible!

Listen to me carefully.

You can always catch a cheater by tracking the money and the gas. Love costs. There will be expenditures. Cash flow and debit card receipts are accessible on line. Mileage won't add up either. You can go through their pockets. You can wait until they are asleep and go through their vehicle looking for signs. You can note the gifts they bring home from people you don't know. Maybe their body comes home every evening but their mind is somewhere else and you can't figure out what's making them tick these days.

They may continue to change passwords on everything after they tell you the passwords. They might just disappear for hours at a time and not answer their cell phone. Listen to me carefully. Trying to catch somebody cheating can drive you insane. If they come home one day and throw up after they look at you, then you know their conscience is whipping a fit on them.

Listen. If you think your spouse is cheating, you need to get your relationship right with the Lord right now. You are going to need heaven's help for what you about to go through. As for the other person – if you find out who it is - have no contact with them. Don't do anything stupid. Don't damage anybody's stuff. Don't put your hands on anybody. No violence! Don’t resort to drugs or alcohol.

“You see a woman who has come to grips with the fact that her lover and spouse has cheated must acknowledge a sequence of deceitful events. In this case, a wife must acknowledge that her husband has tasted some other woman’s lips—the sting of stripe number one. She must acknowledge that her husband held another in his arms—the next stripe exposes the flesh. When he said he was going on that business trip and that he was in his room alone, he was not by himself—now nails are being driven in her hands . . .”
                                                                Excerpt from book
                                                    "When One Flesh Worships”
                                        Chapter 11 – The Agony of Adultery

Go to the gym if you have to let off some steam. Seek Christian counseling. Humans are weak especially if their minds are untransformed and they are not focused on the Lord. If you are a pregnant woman or have some type of illness and find out your spouse is cheating, put yourself and your health first and foremost. Go into survival mode and take care of yourself. That means limit the drama and anyone that causes you drama as much as possible.

If you really want to know if your spouse is cheating just pray to the Lord to tell you anything that is wrong in your marriage relationship and ask God to make the facts clear and bring anything that you need to know about your spouse to your attention so it can be dealt with. Many are afraid to pray this prayer. However, cheating is symptomatic of some fundamental problems in your marriage and you need to know.

And another thing is, you just may be WRONG about the whole thing. Are you dealing with deep insecurity issues and just plain paranoid?



Copyright 2006 J. T. Wright
The author(s) and publisher(s) have used their best efforts in preparing this material. However, as always, the advice of competent marriage counselors, ministry leaders, and health professionals should be sought if needed.