Are you Carrying Resentment
Towards Your Husband?

brought to you by When One Flesh Worships

What does it take to overcome an unfair situation and free yourself of bitterness and resentment?

I know married women who cut the grass, clean out the garage, wash their own cars, cook the majority of the meals, care for the children, and work 40–60 hours per week. They may be superwomen, but it takes a toll on their bodies. Their husbands still want a loving, attractive and affectionate wife. Sometimes it’s not fair.

You must communicate with your husband in a quiet tone when he is not tired and you have his full attention. He is the head, so explain to him your dilemma and ask him to make a recommendation. Ask him would he prefer a clean home or a home cooked meal because right now when you add the number of hours it takes to do everything some-thing has to go if you are to sleep at night. Let him make the decision.

Ask him would he prefer you do the laundry or for you to have 3–4 hours per week to go to the gym to work on that figure. Tell him what you would like to see happen.

It is unfair to him for you to carry around resentment toward your husband because you think he should already know how unfair the situation is (and he may not) when you have verbalized to him your perspective of things.

You fall asleep in a stupor the minute your head hits the pillow after working 8 hours and caring for a 8-month-old and a three-year-old, cooking a dinner, making bottles, and packing 2 knapsacks for the next morning. He should know the burdens you carry, but he may not.

 Some men don’t understand that the female body tires more quickly and bleeds monthly, meaning we can become anemic quicker and tire a lot easier than they do.
Many women cook, clean, pay the bills and their husbands watch the game. What does bitterness and resentment have to do with a book on marital intimacy you say? If you resent your spouse, you will deny him pleasure. You may not want to look at him. You will not want to be around him. You will not want to sleep in the same bed with him. So how can you make love to him?

Seven Signs of Possible Resentment and Bitterness

• Frustration and impatience
• You have trouble showing love, kindness and affection toward your spouse
• Mood swings
• Distrustful of your spouse
• Verbally critical of your spouse
• Verbalizing his negative traits (to him and others)
• Inconsistent prayer, praise, worship and Bible study

You see the price your body has paid in stretch marks, grey hair and wrinkles while he has become more buff and distinguished over the years. We even sacrifice our careers for our families. We quit working to raise our children.

Usually it is the woman who takes time off from work to take the kids to the doctor, and go to the parent-teacher counseling sessions. When my first daughter was born premature, I quit a lucrative job to stay home with her be-cause she needed full-time attention. My husband continued to work. We give up everything sometimes for our families.

It’s at these times you understand why God must be at the head of your relationship. You can only look to the Lord to work in you. I would not trade being a woman for anything. God will redeem the time. If you are worshipping, praying woman you can be sure of one thing. The race is not given to the swift, nor the battle to the strong.
What will be said at the end?

At the end your children will rise up and call you blessed. If you have prayed for your husband and been the wife God called you to be, I believe you are going to see a powerful man of God emerge. My husband has transformed over the years. He is not the man I married. I believe I had something to do with that because I will go into my prayer closet and earnestly pray for him for hours.

I often hear of people talking about their praying grandmother. She was the woman who prayed for them until they gave their lives to the Lord. She never gave up. Usually this same person was the one who grew her own vegetables, kept her table always set and fed everybody in the neighborhood on Sunday. She usually was the one who made all the quilts and the children’s clothes. People never draw the parallel in these old stories.

The reason she could be the superwoman she was because she was praying.
A man’s wife pushes and propels and moves a man into his destiny. I believe there are men, who now sit lifeless and lack purpose who, had they chosen powerful women of God as their wives, would be moving awesomely in ministry, because of her lifegiving waters. Let the fountain flow, sisters. When you get worn and tired, seek God in worship and let him refill the springs. We are an elite group. You are special to God. We are God’s chosen virtuous women.