1. "Well J.T. that sounds great but my husband is not a
talker."
Increasing the quantity of talk is not always
the answer. The quality of the discussions is what
is important. Moreover, you must make sure that
actions result from the discussions.
Make sure you
start out discussing areas of interest to him first.
This shows you are making an effort to care about
the things of concern to him.
2. "I am sooooo
tired."
Why don't you ask your husband to take a shower with
you and ask him to give you a massage? Also, you
must identify why you are tired. Prioritize and
identify the reasons you are tired.
Start with things you can do to alleviate these.
Also list items you need help with him to alleviate tiredness.
Is he tired too? Look at it from his perspective
also.
3. "With three kids in
preschool and elementary, I don't feel sexy."
Maybe the kids are not why you do not feel sexy. Is there
more? Like your weight and figure. If it is your
body, make small changes and do not expect to
look different overnight.
Start with 20 minutes a
day exercising. Here again, the quality of the
exercise for 20 minutes is key along with
consistency. Did you feel sexy before the kids?
What were you doing then?
4. "Its not me - Its my
husband. He does not want to do anything. He's a
couch potato."
Find the things he likes to do. If its a game, get
tickets and go with him. Find movies he likes and
suggest one of those and go with him. Look for
opportunities to leverage his interest. This shows
that you are willing to do things with him just
because you support him.
5. "My husband is selfish.
After he gets his, he falls asleep. He is
unconcerned about my sexual fulfillment"
You must, as sensitively as you can, ask him what
you can do to help delay his release. Moreover, when
it is good, you must totally and sincerely let him
know how good it is. He may not know you wish to
have more pleasure. Recommend some variety.
6. My husband is not saved.
Keep him in prayer. Pray the Lord touch his heart.
Ask the Lord to show you what to do to influence him
the right way. Start with praying unGodly
friends and influences out of his life. Pray
for his eyes to be open.
You may have to
fast and pray - the dynamic duo - for a
breakthrough. Pray that positive Christian friends come
into his life to fill the void. Lead by example but
do not preach to him.
7. My husband does not attend church.
This will take prayer, work and compromise to find a
church that you both are comfortable with.
Discuss with him how important worshipping together
is for you and find out his concerns.
8. "My husband does not make me feel loved. He
shows me no consideration."
Do you show him love and consideration? Are you
consistent with that?
9. "We have been like this a long time and I
have talked and talked and talked and I am through talking
to him."
Change the subject. Pray for him and talk about some
things of interest to your husband. Negative talk
does not work. Exercise the agape Love. Love him "inspite
of." Speak life and communicate good and encouraging
things.
10. My husband has no desire to achieve anything.
Did he ever have a desire? If he did, he may feel
demeaned and "beatin" down with failures in the
past. This is probably a lack of confidence. Find
some interest areas and go to some conferences with
him for the two of you to investigate new areas for
success.
You must really speak uplifting and
encouraging
words to your man. Encourage him to start with
a small project that he can successfully complete
and work his way up to bigger projects.
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