Seven Big Tips That Will Turn
Your Marriage Around

brought to you by When One Flesh Worships

What does it take to be affectionate, caring,
 and considerate toward your spouse?

1. You must stop being selfish and stop thinking about yourself all the time and your needs only.

You are one flesh. You are married. It’s not about you anymore. You must realize that if you are hungry, your spouse is probably hungry, too. If you are tired from moving into your new home, your spouse is probably really tired, too. If you could really use a hug you’re spouse probably could really use a hug also.

2. You must stop thinking about what the other person does not do for you.

This one element of truth was life-changing for my mar-riage. When I decided that I wanted a good marriage I de-cided to stop analyzing my husband’s shortcomings. Many people say men never change. But I have yet to see some-one being showered with kindness and love who did not in some small way down the road and around the corner find some little way to say, “I appreciate you.” You should at least start seeing more smiles out of your spouse even though he may be utterly perplexed.

3. Stop thinking bad thoughts about your spouse.

For ladies whose husbands exhibit the following behavior this step is important for you:

• He has little to say to you.
• You know deep down he does not listen to anything you have to say.
• If you start a deep conversation, he pushes the an-swering machine and starts listening to the messages while you are baring your soul.
• All he wants is food and sex, so you think he is Ne-anderthal in his behavior.

Bad thoughts are expressed into bad words. Then you are speaking negatively about him.

4. Be kind not only to your spouse but kind to those he loves (namely his best friends and relatives).

This may be very difficult to do, but it reaps the biggest rewards. Sometimes it is difficult to be kind to a mother-in-law or sister-in-law who continuously takes verbal jabs or puts you down in subtle ways. Maybe they treat you like you are the invisible wife. Moreover, your spouse probably thinks these people walk on water because they are his fam-ily. Here again, showering them with kindness and a lot of prayer will work.

5. Free up some time in your life to spend alone with your spouse.

If you think the women’s auxiliary or the professional group could not function without your leadership, think again. Create some time by prioritizing all of your activities and drop some.

Are there people who plan your time? Does your husband’s family and friends book his time and your time on a regular basis? You must nurture and feed your marriage. Your time can be very quickly spent supporting the dreams and vi-sions of others.

Realize that One-Flesh Affection does not take the place of having regular marital sexual relations with your spouse. So keep that sexual side going as you increase the affection in your marriage.

6. Throw the past in the sea of forgetfulness.

Forgive your spouse of past wrongs. Ask God to help you forgive. Tell your spouse you would like to start the mar-riage over starting today and will he agree. Put the past in the past, realizing that when you do so you can no longer bring up past failures again.

7. Pray for wisdom to be the wife God intended for you to be for your spouse.

Everyone is different. Everyone does not like balloons. Everyone does not like flowers. All men don’t necessarily love sports. Realize your husband is an individual.

copyright 2006 J.T. Wright