The Wife Test

Article brought to you by When One Flesh Worships

How was Rebekah chosen to marry the most eligible
bachelor around?
Find out the Litmus Test For Wives

Abraham was old and full of years when he began to ponder a very important request that he asked to be granted by the Lord before he closed his eyes. He wanted a very special wife for his most precious Isaac. Isaac was no ordinary child. He was the long awaited for promised child who had grown up to be a man. Isaac’s daddy wanted him happy, pleased, joyful and his most personal needs well cared for.

Abraham called for his best servant. Abraham told the servant, “Make me a promise. Promise you’ll find a wife for Isaac. But she’s not going to be from around here. Go back to my old neighborhood—to my homeland. Get a wife for Isaac from there.”

What is quite intriguing is that the servant did not ask Rebekah for her education level or income. He did not ask her age. He was unconcerned about her employment status. He did not ask her if she already had kids or if she was a widow. He did not ask what church she attended.

A simple litmus test was used to determine who would marry the eligible bachelor. The test was given by someone who was not the groom. Rebekah did not know who the servant was. She could have been having a bad hair day. She could have been in a hurry and had other things to do other than pumping water for some animals, the owners of which, she did not know. One thing is for sure: if Rebekah would do good for someone she did not even know, surely she would do good for a man who loved her.


This litmus test was an indication of Rebekah’s heart and her character. From this very simple test the servant determined that Rebekah was a giver. She was kind. She was caring for people and animals. He also determined that even while feeding animals and pumping water at the well she was still beautiful. Rebekah possessed a giving nature.
In fact, the foreign visitor was able to determine the suitability of Rebekah as a wife with very little in words from Rebekah.

He did not need her to dictate her vita or her resume or life experiences. The servant was not interested in interviewing all the women who were at the well. Rebekah’s suitability for Isaac was based purely on her actions.

For Single Women Wanting to Marry
If you are a single woman reading this article I have one huge nugget for you. Don’t let your singleness perpetuate your singleness by taking your God-given “giving” nature.

I know why many single women are single. A lifestyle of having to do for yourself can cause you to focus on you and your problems. You can become self-centered and you can begin to speak, “I have to do everything by myself,” which can turn into “I have to look out for myself because nobody else does.”

In your effort to care for yourself, you can stop being a giver. When you finally go on a date your speech and demeanor can cause men to feel that you see him as a meal ticket and someone to take out the trash. When in fact, he is looking for someone ready, and able to give to him—to please him. Remember: Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Because your attitude is  in your speech and your demeanor.

I have a friend who for 20 years was single, and even though she had no children at home, she would open her home on Christmas and cook dinner for immediate family, aunts, uncles and cousins. She lived alone but would feed over 75 people on the holidays and prepare all the food. She did not let singleness take her God-given giving nature. She would buy all the food and prepare this feast every year. A few years later she married a pastor.

Basically the servant was able to determine that Rebekah possessed a caring spirit and took joy in caring for others without being asked. Rebekah was a giver. Not only was she a giver, she could give expecting nothing in return. She had no idea that by giving water to a traveler and his camels that she would receive two gold bands, a gold ring, and a very special husband.

A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.
— Song of Solomon 4:12

A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon.
— Song of Solomon 4:15

The description of women as a well further symbolizes our ability to give—that we must have a reserve of affection at all times to give. Our reserves are replenished through praise, worship and prayer. We can only give what we have. If you have bitterness, anger, resentment, and tiredness you cannot be a well ready to give affection and love. You must be ministered to yourself to rebuild your well. Keep your worship music going in your home; allow Holy Spirit to replenish you and heal you in areas that hinder your ability to give. Set the atmosphere in your home by playing God-inspired worship and praise music.

I prayed Song of Solomon 4:12 and 4:15 over myself several years ago. I said, “God, make me an enclosed fountain, a well of flowing water.” He did. God can and will teach you how to give.


Copyright 2006 J. T. Wright
The author(s) and publisher(s) have used their best efforts in preparing this material. However, as always, the advice of competent marriage counselors, ministry leaders, and health professionals should be sought if needed.